Coming Out – What NOT To Do

Coming out. It’s a really difficult thing to do, at any time in a person’s life. One hopes that common sense (and a little good luck) would prevail . . . But I’ve heard these stories too many times.

In light of that . . .

. . . When coming out to your family, or friends, or people you know, here’s a list of things NOT TO DO:

–          Don’t get caught making out with your girlfriend/boyfriend. RE: Noah!

I can hear a chorus of ‘DUH!’, but you have no idea how often this happens. It happened to me! And trying to explain that one away is like getting caught red handed nicking the original Faberge Egg from a maximum security gallery – no matter what you say, everyone still knows exactly what you’re up to.

–          Don’t get caught having sex with your girlfriend/boyfriend

See above. Just with more shock and possibly a heart attack.

–          Don’t be extremely vague. If you’re serious about coming out, you want the person/people you’re coming out to, to know exactly what you mean when you tell them you like girls/boys/both.

You don’t want to find yourself in a sticky situation later having to correct them. It’s scary enough as it is. Get it right the first time. Of course, even if you come out with simply ‘I’m gay’, it’s still possible you could get stuck with someone’s arm around your shoulder going “Oh, I’m so glad you’re happy . . .”

“Ah, that’s not what I meant . . .”

Be clear, be explicit. Say it more than once. Say it in several ways.

–          Don’t come out as an attempt to shock someone.  Or to shut them up.

Your moment of satisfaction will last about as long as the expression on their face will. Then reality sets in. Do not do this.

–          Coming out on the spur of the moment, with little time for discussion probably isn’t a great idea.

Unless the world is ending, or it’s a life or death situation, it’s probably better to plan and leave enough time to talk about it.

Of course, if the world is ending then go ahead, more power to you.

–          Don’t come out in the car. Or if someone is operating machinery. Or cooking. Or doing anything involving sharp and/or dangerous implements.

You and everyone else want to have your limbs by the end of the conversation.

–          Don’t leave your sense of humour behind.

You might need it. I’ve heard many coming out stories, and a lot of them involve humour. Sometimes it can help to lighten an awkward situation.

–          Don’t skip school with your other half and almost/get caught involved in sexual activity illegally on public property in full view of some randoms and have the police called by your school because you’re skipping who catch you and inform the school who call to inform your parents.

If that one sounds personal it’s because it is. Don’t let it happen. It’s not the way you want to come out.

–          Don’t come out if your not ready.

You might wonder if you can ever be ready for something like that, but it’s important to wait until the right time for YOU. You’ve had to deal with your own emotions, and when you make your announcement you will have to deal with everybody else’s as well. Whether they react well or not, it will be emotional. Make sure you are ready. Make sure you accept yourself before you ask everyone else to.


One Response to “Coming Out – What NOT To Do”

  1. […] April 19, 2009 at 9:30 am (Journal) Tags: adventure, arab, bisexual, boring, diary, gay, gay marriage, homo, homosexual, Homosexuality, Lesbian, LGBT, life, love, philippines, pinoy, Same sex, same sex marriage, sex, Shriek, third sex, Transexual, transgender, twink, work I was reading an entry from another blogger here at wordpress. Her name is Lucia, direct link is […]

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